389 Work Excuses
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I feel lucky >
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I won't be able to make it, my good shirt shrunk in the wash! |
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I won't be able to make it, I have to clean my shower grout. |
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I'm going to be a little late today, I have to take my daughter to the doctor. |
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My sick days were feeling neglected. |
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I know I don't sound sick over the phone. But the job sounded good on paper, so it kinda evens out. |
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I'm going to be a little late today, I have to take my son to the doctor. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm having bad side effects from my new medicine. |
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I got stuck in the shower. Once you start whistling Handel's "Messiah," you really have to finish it |
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I can sit around and drink coffee and do not much of anything in my home just fine, thanks. |
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I won't be able to make it, a skunk sprayed me as I was walking to my car. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I suffered sleep paralysis for hours this morning. |
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I won't be able to make it, I accidentally took my sleeping pills instead of my vitamins. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I sliced my finger making breakfast and had to clean up. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I was stuck behind a slow driver the whole way here. |
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There's a rattlesnake hiding in my lawn, and I'm afraid it'll bite me if I leave for my car. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm snowed in to my house. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, my car got snowed in. |
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I wanted to stay home today and indulge my fantasy of being a stay-at-home soap opera critic. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got something in my eye on the way here. |
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You know, for just one day I'd like to have a little piece of my soul not die. |
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I need a day off to reflect on my life and truly find myself. |
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I could go through the motions of sounding sick, but I respect your intelligence enough to just lie. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got caught in a gash in the space-time continuum. |
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I sent you the email, it must have gotten lost in your spam filter. |
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Your email got filtered into my spam folder by mistake. |
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Someone must have put something in my drink last night, I've been groggy and nauseous this morning. |
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I leaving home when out of nowhere there was a stampede of rhinos in my way. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I thought we started at (the time you arrived). |
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Listen, I've been shooting 'roids and reading Ayn Rand all morning. I think I should stay home today |
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I'm sorry I've been absent, I had my kidneys stolen and sold on the black market. |
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You'll never believe me, but my tardiness involves a bottle of Stoli and a defective Thighmaster. |
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Listen, I'd love to sit in a cube farm all day, but I have a stranger's funeral to go to. |
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I'm on strike against work. |
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I won't be able to make it, I went to Tijuana this weekend but I forgot my passport to get back in! |
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My friend is stuck in Mexico without a passport, so I need today off to bring it to him. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got stuck behind a bus. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, I got stuck behind a truck. |
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My friend is stuck in Canada without a passport, so I need today off to bring it to him. |
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I was stuck on an island. My canoe floated away. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, the subway got delayed today. |
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I won't be able to make it, my friend is about to jump and I need to talk him down. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm too sunburnt to go out in public. |
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I can't make it, I accidentally left my sunroof open all night and the rain flooded my car. |
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I won't be able to make it, my son was playing with superglue and now I'm attached to the wall. |
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Oh, I totally forgot to mention I'm secretly a superhero and my dead-end office job is just a ruse. |
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I just really need some me time. Some me and the Spice Channel and Tequiza time, to be exact. |
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I'm sorry I'm late, it took forever to tame my 'fro. |
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I won't be able to make it, I'm behind on my taxes and they're due today. |
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I won't be able to make it, I have a temperature of 106. |
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I quit! For about the next eight hours, anyway. See you tomorrow! |
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | Follow On Twitter |
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I feel lucky >
What's your excuse?
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